Loss Of A Loved One

Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One

Dealing with the loss of a loved one triggers a barrage of insecurities along with personal trials and tribulations. What could I do to prevent the outcome is a big question that rattles just about anyone’s chain. The answer is nothing, because the path has already taken place and the lessons are what we are left with.

Coping With The Loss Of A Loved One

When coping with the loss of a loved one the pain, shock and trauma is what hits firsts, especially if it is random or an unexpected loss. When that happens being alone is the last thing you should do.

The emotional grip and grief that will take over is more than any normal person can cope with. The advise is to be around people who care about you and do not ask too much of yourself. It is a time to grieve.

Most people are surprised by how strongly grief hits them. It can be overwhelming. Time will be a welcomed friend as there is no shame in grieving or for the time it takes to move through it.

The Emotional Stages Of Loss

The stages of emotional, grief is not something we recognize when in the midst of grieving. Nor will these stages  happen in any particular order. Never the less these feelings are real and will happen at some point in time.

1. Denial
2.  Isolation
3. Anger
4. Bargaining
5. Depression
6. Acceptance

Healing From The Loss Of A Loved One

Healing from the loss of a loved one is being able to accept the loss. Acceptance does not mean fatalism or inaction. Acceptance means that one is fully in the present moment, knowing what was lost and acting from that point of knowledge, awareness and fearlessness.

When a person no longer lives in fear, denial, anger, bargaining or depression, one is empowered and conscious to a much greater degree. To accomplish this level of awareness and peace with what was lost may take weeks, months, years or decades. Some people never get through all of the stages of grieving in a lifetime, as they get ‘stuck in one stage or another.

 Complications From The Loss Of A Loved One

Grieving from the loss of a loved one is very complicated because in loss there can be diverse factors. Some are unforeseen, some are gradual.

The loss of a child is horrific; the loss of an elder is often more manageable; however, if the loss comes after 50 years of companionship, the mourner is going to be deeply bereft. This would include a life long family pet.

A divorce that was unforeseen can be devastating. Not only is it a loss of a loved one you also face knowing that this person has made the choice to move on without you…ouch!

Appeasing The Loss Of a Loved One

– Alfred Lord Tennyson quotes:’Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

The depth of a grief is exactly proportional to the depth of attachment; from one perspective, a deep grief is a badge of honor, a big love that has deeply been part of life.

In my case I recently lost a beautiful Italian Greyhound. Dillon shaped 12 years of my life. The loss of his face and companionship is numbing. I am prepared to grieve and when the time comes I will set his spirit free. I am grateful to have the support of family and friends to help me carry on his memory.

To be at peace do not try to tough it out alone or resist the process. This will just make it stretch out longer, or completely stop the healing process. Bottom line if you get stuck seek out a grieving support group, a therapist or counselor to help move through the grief, loss, abuse or trauma.